Last week in one of my coaching calls, my client said to me, "I acted like a child, in fact my partner even commented, you're acting like a child."
I asked how she felt about that now and she said, "A bit embarrassed, and a lot of regret."
Why can't we do better when we know better?
Many of us experience this feeling, myself included. When triggered or stressed, we can revert to behaviours that feel childish, yet seem completely automated - beyond our control.
We shut down and sulk. We shout and throw tantrums. We have petty arguments with our teenagers, acting like teenagers ourselves (I've been guilty of this one).
Often, only those we love most see these parts of ourselves, leaving us feeling out of alignment with who we want to be.
The reason we act like children (even when we know better) is because the child within us has been activated. Whatever is happening in the present moment is subconsciously reminding us of a feeling we felt as a child, so this part acts out.
The question I asked my client was, "What did you feel in that moment and how did that remind you of what you sometimes felt as a child?"
The answers vary depending on our experiences:
- Alone
- Unseen
- Unloved
- Not heard
- Not valued
- Not enough
You see we can't heal our childish behavior until we heal the child that felt the hurt in the first place.
And this is why when people come to me to create change or find their purpose, it is not just about mapping forward, it is about mapping backward too.
Here's what most personal development and 'Find Your Purpose' programs don't teach you but are essential for lasting change:
- How to challenge automated patterns that keep you stuck
- How to create safety in your nervous system to be regulated and courageous
- How to develop a compassionate relationship with yourself
- How to align your inner and outer worlds so you can show up as your true self
This is exactly what we do in Betterment - we work on the past, present and future in the most supportive, compassionate container.
Betterment is your key to unlocking who you want to be, how you want to feel, and what you're here to express - your purpose!
We start on Monday - are you ready for the next evolution of yourself?
With warmth, Simone
P.S. If you've been feeling triggered by the same patterns over and over, this is your invitation to heal at the root and go to your next level.
