Carl Jung once said, "The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are."
For much of my life, I interpreted this as a call to become someone—someone better, someone more. I thought I needed to strive, achieve, and improve myself in order to finally “become” someone.
But the gift of age is that we begin to look at what we’ve assumed all our lives, and we see it differently.
Through many years of my own inner work, and through helping clients uncover their true selves and their purpose, I’ve come to understand something deeply transformative: who you truly are is not someone you need to become. You have always been who you truly are.
What we call "finding ourselves" is really a process of remembering who we’ve always been. Over time, our authentic selves get clouded by the ways we adapt to survive, fit in, and feel loved.
In our often unconscious efforts to avoid judgment, rejection, or abandonment, we forget who we are. We become identities that, rather than connecting us to our true selves, actually separate us from who we really are.
These adaptive behaviors might look like:
- People-pleasing, saying yes when you really mean no
- Being indecisive because you don’t trust yourself
- Over-achieving while ignoring your own needs
- Avoiding discomfort, checking out emotionally
- Becoming the “strong one,” but cutting yourself off from your own vulnerability
The truth is, we abandon ourselves in an attempt to protect ourselves—and there is a real cost to this.
This episode has been brewing in me for a long time as I’ve reflected on self-abandonment, both in myself and others. It’s also been a journey of learning what it truly means to honour ourselves, to heal the behaviours that no longer serve us, and to rest in the truth of who we really are. What a privilege this is.
I hope you enjoy this reflection, and that it offers you some insight into your own journey of remembering who you truly are.
With love,
Simone
P.S. As you reflect on this year and look ahead, don't forget to honour your own needs. Come join me in creating 2025 with intention and purpose.
