I just got off the phone with a new potential client.

‘Anything else you wanted to say before we close the call?’ I asked, to which he replied, ‘I just want you to push me really hard in our sessions’.

As a coach, I knew what he meant: be tough, challenge him to achieve, keep him accountable to his goals, and don’t let him off the hook. It is the typical masculine definition of pushing ourselves that most of us (men and women) have adopted in a culture that attributes these behaviours to being ‘successful’ (and don’t get me wrong - they have their place).

Here’s what ‘pushing you hard’ can also look like (and I shared a few of these with him):

• It can look like inviting you to be vulnerable (often more challenging than high achieving)
• It can look like allowing yourself to be compassionate to old parts of yourself that were doing the best they knew how to at that time
• It can look like allowing yourself to revisit and heal from old pain in a safe way
• I can look like slowing down, resting and not always having to do or achieve something (that challenges me!)
• It can look like making choices that honour your own values but might not make others pleased (which is hard for those who want to keep everyone happy)
• It can be allowing yourself to express joy and be playful when you’ve been running another more serious persona for a long time.

We all have different places within us that challenge us into discomfort. Sometimes we need more structure, discipline and goals, other times we push ourselves to go places that feel less familiar and more vulnerable.

Simone X

PS - if you haven’t downloaded my 15 questions to unlock your purpose workbook you can do so HERE.